1) What’s the first concert you attended?
New Kids on the Block with Tiffany opening. I have an older sister. The whole family went. All I remember are middle school girls crying and a cockroach crawling across the floor of a Krystal when we stopped for food on the drive home. People who have cool first concerts are born rich or lying.
2) What was your best Halloween costume?
When my hair was at its longest I went as Nick Nolte’s mug shot. People in Chicago just thought it was me. It wasn’t much of a stretch.
3) What was your first job?
I was a janitor at the drug store in like 5th grade. Sounds illegal.
4) What’s your most used emoji?
They got rid of the gun. RIP
5) What’s the last text you sent?
“Jessica, do I really have to do this?”
6) Who was your favorite band at 13 years old?
I wanna say Neil Young and Crazy Horse but it was probably Van Hagar
7) What’s your go to Karaoke song ( presuming you have one)?
“Help the Aged” by Pulp or “All My Friends” by LCD Soundsystem or a 3rd song about being old and white
8) What is special about the place you grew up?
My family lives there.
9) What do you wish you knew more about?
The entertainment industry.
10) What are you reading currently?
The Plot Against America by Philip Roth, slowly
11) What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?
One time my phone fell into a porta potty and I grabbed it out of there with my bare hands and no one ever knew about it even to this day.
12) What is something you will NEVER do again?
Use my phone while peeing
13) What do you wish your brain was better at doing?
Focusing—no, follow through!
14) What bends your mind every time you think about it?
Jackson Browne wrote "These Days" when he was 16.
15) If you could have a video of any one event in your life, what event would you choose?
Me being conceived so I could blackmail my parents
16) If you were a wrestler what would your entrance theme song be?
"Laugh Love Fuck" by The Coup
17) Who was your childhood (famous person) crush?
Janeane Garofalo, duh
18) What was your favorite TV show to watch after school with what accompanying snack?
Simpsons with I dunno, I’m southern so gravy?
19) If you could be guaranteed one thing in life (besides money), what would it be?
Stage time
20) What question do you wish was on this list?
None. You’ve done a good job here. The list is perfect just the way it is! Believe in yourself!
