1) What’s the first concert you attended?
AC/DC. Ballbreaker Tour, 1996. I won tickets by calling into the local cock rock radio station.
2) What was your best Halloween costume?
Fran Lebowitz. Took minimal effort and was a big hit on Instagram.
3) What was your first job?
Answering the phone at my grandfather's car dealership.
I dropped as many calls as my employment violated labor laws.
4) What’s your most used emoji?
🤔
5) What’s the last text you sent?
"Excellent, I can go...au naturale"
6) Who was your favorite band at 13 years old?
Nirvana, 'cause that's the law.
7) What’s your go to Karaoke song ( presuming you have one)?
"Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit. Karaoke rooms thrive on palpable negative energy.
8) What is special about the place you grew up?
There are two Taco Bells. They bookend the town.
9) What do you wish you knew more about?
Auto repair.
10) What are you reading currently?
Nothing. I'm waiting for my library loans to come in.
11) What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?
Be an alcoholic.
12) What is something you will NEVER do again?
Be cut out of my mother's uterus.
13) What do you wish your brain was better at doing?
Becoming unconscious at will.
14) What bends your mind every time you think about it?
Bitcoin. What the fuck is it and, more to the point, why the fuck is it?
15) If you could have a video of any one event in your life, what event would you choose?
The time I was arrested in high school for egging a Blockbuster Video and a church, in that order.
16) If you were a wrestler what would your entrance theme song be?
The same song I used as my theme music when I ran for student class president in high school—"Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett.
17) Who was your childhood (famous person) crush ?
Woody Allen. Problematic much?!?
18) What was your favorite TV show to watch after school with what accompanying snack?The monkees Jenny Jones with raw hot dogs cut up into bite sized pieces.
19) If you could be guaranteed one thing in life (besides money), what would it be?
Infertility.
20) What question do you wish was on this list?
What's your Venmo? I want to send you $500.
